Do you have good comebacks?

Are you one of those people who find the suitable answer to a verbal attack usually hours later? Or are you sharp as a knife and leave others speechless when it comes to hefty exchanges? Whatever side you are, I am sure you will like the following:

An Australian radio station aired an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters. Read a portion of it:

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:

“So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?“

GENERAL COSGROVE:

“We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.“

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:

“Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?“

GENERAL COSGROVE:

“I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.“

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:

“Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?“

GENERAL COSGROVE:

“I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.“

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:

“But you're equipping them to become violent killers.“

GENERAL COSGROVE:

“Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you aren't one, are you?“

The radio went silent and the interview ended.

Men normally laugh when reading this, women are upset and immediately think about a proper answer. Of course the lady has provoked this reply and her questioning technique lacked professionalism. The general reacted very superior, however, this hit far below the belt!

What could the interviewer have said to come out of this situation with dignity?

There is more than one option, however, each of them should have one goal: to regain our personal aplomb. It is not about revenge or returning the like by hurting the other person. It is about staying calm and react in a way which the opponent does not expect but also which makes him or her stop going on. The only acceptable reason to choose a hurtful reply is, when this is the only way to keep our integrity. Not only do we have the right but the duty to defend our dignity.

Here are some selected options that use different approaches:

To pretend to reply and change the subject:

“An important question indeed is how long exactly will the boys be staying in your camp?“

To reply logically:

“It is a fact that gunmen usually have early contact and access to weapons which makes it easy for them to commit a crime.“

To pause (most probably the most difficult reply):

“Mhmmm.“

To re-word what he had said:

“If by equipped you mean that I have an attractive feminine appearance, thank you very much.“

To use the plea as a fundament:

“This is exactly why I think we need to raise awareness.“

To ignore it and move on:

“How will you personally be engaged in the visit of this Boy Scout Group?“

To literally fire back with the same weapon (that is what we all want to do instinctively but hardly succeed in):

“You seem to know very well what it takes to be a prostitute. Why don‘t you share your personal experiences with the audience?“

Quick-wittedness is not inherited, we can actually practice it every day and so acquire and improve it. I grew up with an extended family full of very communicative people. One of them would always have a funny reply on everything. This helped me when I had my first job and my boss was teasing me and everybody else constantly - in a hilarious way. We all had fun in firing back and I never had a more entertaining work place than during these two years - it was fantastic.

So, find a person in your family or at work and agree on exchanging sharp words - for fun. This can become a real competition and will bring lots of fun into your days. Do not feel offended, however, if something seems to be unfair, take it with dignity. What does not kill you makes you stronger! Also, for the more serious situations, pick one or two of the mentioned options that you prefer and create some standard phrases in your mind which you can use in various situations. After a while it will come naturally and the attackers will lose interest.

I want to end with a joke for all women which is both funny and witty:

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says,"Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

And this is what we can learn from it:

Replying in an unexpected way is much more effective.

There is three things we can do to become more sharp: training, training and training.